[ a r t S n a p ™ ]

A Difficult Task

On 15th of August, I was on the trip to Jakarta. I flew there on Lufthansa. I knew that fly with Lufthansa from Changi to Jakarta would be quite boring, so that I didn’t forget to bring along one of my entertainment gadget with me.

Since my PSP’s UMD drive was spoiled, so the choice fell to my DS. Bringing DS means, I won’t be able to do anything other than playing NDS/GBA games, which also means, I have to bring along some of my DS title. Then as usual, I put some games I might play into a cartridge case which able to hold 8 cartridges. And also, I loaded the DS with Castlevania: PoR.

Inside the plane, I felt like playing, so I took the DS from my bag. The flight was quite bumpy that night, but I felt just fine, putting my mind into the game and didn’t want to bother about the bumpy flight.

After landing in Jakarta, everything seemed fine at first. Until I passed the immigration counter and realized that the pocket of my bag in which I put the cartridge box was open and… the cartridge box wasn’t there!

I think, I’ve dropped it somewhere in the plane or at least in my way from the plane to the immigration counter. But, it’s gone for sure, a cartridge box and 8 games inside, including some famous titles. Lucky, still had Castlevania: PoR which I haven’t finished in the DS slot.

Yes, I lost it. But I didn’t want to be trapped in the “poor thought” which says “you’ve lost a stuff which equals to some amount of money, bla..bla..bla…”, so I kept thinking that “I am rich enough” and I was able to keep this positive state of mind, right after leaving the airport. And basically, I managed to keep the positive thought until I went to sleep.

But, in the next morning… I woke up and saw my DS laid on bed-side table and suddenly a huge regret struck my mind. Suddenly the feel of regret and self-blame came and haunted my mind. Made me keep saying to myself, “you’re fool!”, “you’re stupid!”, “why did you forget to check the zipper?!”, “you’re screwed, man!”, again and again… -_-“

Before that thing happened, I’ve just finished reading “The Mastery of Love” by Don Miguel Ruiz. And guess what… that morning, I realized that this is why we have to learn to love ourself before we are able to love others unconditionally. That morning, I realized that to forgive myself for what I’ve done is somehow, amazingly harder than to forgive others. Even until yesterday night, I was still blaming myself for the lost of the cartridges.

Now I know, what is the true nature of human disease which I got inside. Knowing the problem can help us effectively find the solution for it.

Dear Myself, I’m sorry for blaming Me for the lost of the cartridges. I realize, everything that has a beginning, has an end. I realize that it is a sign that something new is coming. I realize that I’m rich enough with the abundance within, which is really able to buy all the cartridges in the whole world, if I really want it.

Dear Myself, I forgive Me for what I’ve done. I want to be in peace with Me. And I want Me to know that I love Me unconditionally. Amen.